Wanna See an "Article" I wrote? About my best most scandal worthy friend? HUH HUH HUH?? DO YA DO YA DO YA

NowhereVille, USA, 6:09 ASSOCIATED PRESS

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There, now you know his name! Hell, with the great job I did you might actually even bother to REMEMBER HIS name! I decided to go light on his scandal, I'm still brainstorming how to fabricate that part with my journalist partners in crime team.

I accept Pulitzers and even Nobel Prizes. SOMEBODY PAY ME!!!!!