ME: Mom. I’ve got a little surprise for you. I’m moving out! Starting a new life, as an ADULT, on my own, finally living the dream.
MOM: No. You’re NOT. You CAN’T. You’re NEVER going to leave my house! You’re my prisoner. You know you’re a prisoner of your own room.
ME: Not for long. Mom.
MOM: How…DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU! HOW COULD YOU. I provide EVERTHING for you EVERYTHING!!!!!! And you become a Hollywood CRIMINAL!!!!??? GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU FELON! I’m never speaking to you again! How DARE you leave this family.
ME: Yeah, well, sorry, but now I know why the caged bird sings. DEAL with it. (Walks out front door and calls cab on his cell phone, never to speak to his family again after that day.)
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