[RANT] Why I'm NOT a MAINSTREAM WRITER, or a Member of ASMB anymore, for that matter...

Good thing the job description of WRITER doesn't require you to be a NICE GUY to everybody. Otherwise I'd be pretty damn screwed.

Goddamit I wish the Writer's Market textbook was easier to figure out and use. I HATE contacting literary agencies. Considering they never respond to inquiries or answer their phones. I'm starting to hate literary agents. Because first of all, they make it a lot harder to find a publisher for your books than it should be. These agencies fucking frustrate me. I struggle more than Fuck trying to find work. I always fail. Good thing I don't give up easily. Do I want to fail. Okay, then I'll call one of the agencies. Sure, let's go with that one. Man, fuck that. I just like to write. I don't need an agent or publishing house. I don't need power or fame to be a self assured and confident writer. I just write. All day and all night. Every day and every night. For up to 16 hours daily.

Do you want to FAIL, all the time, EVERY TIME, at EVERY THING YOU DO?? Then sure! Submit your book to an AGENCY, with a QUERY LETTER. I'm sure it will work like a charm. The whole thing is rigged even more than an online casino. There's no hope or point to it, as it's more than just competitive to break through as a so-called "mainstream novelist". It's pretty much impossible. Just wait until the sweet release of DEATH. I'm sure agents, editors, and publishers would LOVE to see it THEN.

I am NOT a FAN of the traditional mainstream literary establishment and publishing system. It's so hard. Writing is just so easy for the most part. Funny how that works out. Not in my favor. I'm better off with Kindle and Scribd. The publishing house cliques never go there, so I have no reason to hold back there.

I spent my entire early literary career being terrified of letting publishers, agents, or editors (who worked for or with the literary giants) see my literary work. And not surprisingly. Those Freaks are TERRIFYING! Agents are the only people I fear more the people who criticize me: The people who can actually do the opposite. Make me a success: "Uncriticizable". Like a Stephen King, a JK Rowling, or a Neil Gaiman. People who can write their own ticket in the tough as nails publising world. I'd give anything to be on the other side of the rainbow, but I'm pretty sure that's never going to happen. Otherwise I'd be nicer when talking about it. So far self-publishing, and getting one pilot animation script registered with the Writers Guild of America (WGA) East is as far as I go, unfortunately. Getting work as a writer and artist is like pulling teeth. Good thing I don't get jealous of other writers easily. 

So far, I've been rejected and turned down by every editor, agent, agency, TV Network, comic book publisher and animation studio I've ever turned to. All I know in writing and art is rejection, and people saying I don't have talent, albeit, even if its phrased politely. And I have no desire to jump through hoops just to write. I'm committed to the process, which is why I wrote 4,000 - 5,000 pages, never to publish or submit any of it. I only tried to submit my journals to an agency once, and they flat out ignored me and never responded. I guess I just couldn't figure out how to get my author introduction and manuscript query letter sales pitch right.

I HATE the submissions process. Probably because no one takes my pitches seriously or responds to the and I'm terrible at the submissions process. I'm not good at selling what I do to a larger audience, or more accurately, the audience of an agency or publisher or editor. I wrote like, 2 million emails to Jamie S. Rich at the height of his fame in an attempt to win over the staff at Oni press. As far as backfires go, that was one of my biggest. Jamie, who I hoped to impress by writing a lot on some level in emails berated me, said I "crossed the line", and expressed a whole heck of a lot of frustration, disappointment, and borderline anger at me. I wasn't treated much kinder on the early 2000s indie comics message boards for Jhonen Vasquez and Roman Dirge ("Noomoo", "Noom") And especially DeviantART. Places where I got the most "polite" backlash and venom. It was like witnessing the murder and assassination of my overly prolific, overly enthusiastic childhood dreams. But I kept writing, and kept persevering, even though there wasn't any hope for me in the alternative comics, manga, and "anime on TV Adult Swim" scenes early on, especially in the online communities. They hate me there to this day. A lot. To the point of banning my Spindack handle and all I.P. addresses, passwords, and emails associated with it "permanently, forever, until the end of time and we're long past canceled. I was even nice to people at first, but the fans just ignored, dismissed, attacked, slandered, and mocked me and everything I stood for, even to the point of attempting to collect all my secrets so they can merely use them against me. Fucking terrible. They're all elitists and prudes there. It was an Epic Disaster. Some people in those places liked me, and said so, but they were penalized by the established system for doing so, talked to like they were "losers and idiots"  by Adult Swim writers, producers, staff, moderators, and "fans". That was before I made YouTube and Twitter and they caught on, so when those rose to power and prominence I finally found a place I fit in. The communities I myself helped build, and they turned out to be large communities through Google and whatnot than ANY of the so-called "alternative communities" I attempted to fit in with early on. I always had a BAAAAD Feeling and intuitive fearful premonition way back in the day that the  bad apple  bad see Jhonen Vasquez and Roman Dirt Vulgar slang, no-it-all Nerds from the Jhonen Vasquez and Roman Dirge communities (Immortalizing the Moment and Spookyland) would be a horrible influence on the unsuspecting politics of the Adult Swim message boards and Megatokyo (all now overrun by geek nerd cyberbullies with vulgar mouths and perverted tongues) would get overrun with negativity and ruthless, deceptive, egomaniacal fans once people started linking to Adult Swim and Megatokyo on Immortalizing the Moment, and ruin everything, especially Babbling. And I was right. They're all pure evil now.

Biggest fanbase = Biggest Fanbase of social incompetent know it all idiot jerks.

"Got the mic in my hand but can I make you understand, that a-hole bands have a-hole fans"

Those same AV Debate club bullies, cyberbullies, trolls, snooty bitch slut girls who all made fun of you and picked on you and thought you were an ugly gay guy retard, in the halls or on the sports bleachers during gym class in high school, and misogynists who bullied and pestered you in high school will be the  first ones in line for your Comic-Con signing, or stalk you on Twitter with intentionally ugly "macho selfies" and wait in line for you for you for four hours to get an autograph. It applies to comics and animation and anime and manga just as it applies to rock and roll. Just ask Kurt Cobain.

Yeah, not in any hurry to deal with that.