The Infamous Self-"Bragging"

Some people have accused me of “arrogance”, but honestly, it wasn't so much as I thought I was all those things as I would write down boasts and brags because at the time my own internal voice was the only re-affirming positive one. I just wanted to stay positive with myself. My ego seemed out of control, but it wasn't. I just said those things to myself in writing as a way of talking to myself to give myself a pep talk. A kind of ego-reaffirming affirmation. I often didn't tell myself what I needed to hear, I told myself what I wanted to here, mostly because living with my family is morally degrading, and most of my family-roommates were argumentative and full of put downs. I need to respond to all that emotional bullshit by telling me all the things I needed to hear from someone between 2001 – 2018. I spent a lot of time talking to myself in writing. Those were internal insider boasts. Not something I had ever intended to broadcast or publish to the world. I just never hit delete.

I'm both naturally confident and naturally humble. Confidence and egotism is how I respond to direct ego-threats. If I agreed with what my enemies and rivals told me, I'd think I was nothing, a nobody 24/7. I can't have that. I need to view myself how I actually am, Not the hype or endless putdowns from enemies and rivals. Why agree with someone who only means to hurt, degrade, and demean you. That's fucking retarded. Don't "agree" with your critics! That's fucking idiocy. Retaliate against them with confidence and ego-strength. Make your enemies and foes feel as beneath you as they should be.